Having difficulty deciding if a behavior is bullying or another form of peer conflict? Use "PIC" to help!
P - Purposeful
Is the bullying being done with the intent to harm and inflict emotional or physical pain?
I - Imbalance of Power
Does the bullying behavior creating fear and/or use power and control to intimidate victims?
C - Continual
Are the bullying acts repeated? Do they happen over time, and are not one-time events?
Parent Strategies:
Neighborhood Issues - If problems persist in the neighborhood, you should consult with local law enforcement officials.
Cyber Bullying - When handling cyber-bullying parents should: monitor your child's computer usage, save threatening messages, meet with the school, if immediate physical harm call 911.
Warning Signs - Be aware of warning signs that could indicate bullying: feeling ill in the morning, not wanting to go to school, not wanting to ride the bus, refusal to talk about the day at school, unexplained marks or bruises, drop in school performance, social isolation/withdrawal; change in friendships, coming home from school with torn clothes or destroyed property, unexplained crying, especially before going to sleep/nightmares, lack of confidence, changes in behavior towards friends and siblings-becoming more violent and becoming a bully.
Teach Assertiveness NOT Aggression Do not encourage your child to be aggressive or to strike back. Chances are that it is not his or her nature to do so. Rather, teach your child to be assertive. A bully often is looking for an indication that his or her threats or intimidation are working. Tears or passive acceptance only reinforces the bully's behavior. A child who does not respond as the bully desires is not likely to be chosen as a victim. For example, children can be taught to respond to aggression with humor and assertions rather than acquiescence.
Ask Don't Assume Everything is OK Don't assume everything is fine unless you hear otherwise. Ask your child how things are going, how he or she gets treated in school, who his or her friends are, etc. Pay attention to your child's mood and behavior.
Student Strategies:
The 3 R's
Recognize - bullying situations. Identify the criteria of bullying (P-I-C).
Refuse - the bullying using strategies such as DeBugging. This can also include withholding support or participation in a hurtful event, choose not to encourage a bully with laughter or words, get help from adults, support a victim in private, distract the bully from their victim, offer support to the victim in the presence of the bully, or confront the bully.
Report - the bullying to adults/school staff.
DEBUG:
Decide to ignore
Exit, or move away
Be friendly
Use firm words
Get adult help
STAR: Use the STAR strategy when confronted with a bully.
S - Stick together
T - Tell the Bully to Stop
A - Alert an Adult at school & home
R - Respect others and be friendly
Tattling vs. Reporting
• Tattling is when a student is trying to get someone in trouble.
• Reporting is when a student tries to keep someone safe.
P - Purposeful
Is the bullying being done with the intent to harm and inflict emotional or physical pain?
I - Imbalance of Power
Does the bullying behavior creating fear and/or use power and control to intimidate victims?
C - Continual
Are the bullying acts repeated? Do they happen over time, and are not one-time events?
Parent Strategies:
Neighborhood Issues - If problems persist in the neighborhood, you should consult with local law enforcement officials.
Cyber Bullying - When handling cyber-bullying parents should: monitor your child's computer usage, save threatening messages, meet with the school, if immediate physical harm call 911.
Warning Signs - Be aware of warning signs that could indicate bullying: feeling ill in the morning, not wanting to go to school, not wanting to ride the bus, refusal to talk about the day at school, unexplained marks or bruises, drop in school performance, social isolation/withdrawal; change in friendships, coming home from school with torn clothes or destroyed property, unexplained crying, especially before going to sleep/nightmares, lack of confidence, changes in behavior towards friends and siblings-becoming more violent and becoming a bully.
Teach Assertiveness NOT Aggression Do not encourage your child to be aggressive or to strike back. Chances are that it is not his or her nature to do so. Rather, teach your child to be assertive. A bully often is looking for an indication that his or her threats or intimidation are working. Tears or passive acceptance only reinforces the bully's behavior. A child who does not respond as the bully desires is not likely to be chosen as a victim. For example, children can be taught to respond to aggression with humor and assertions rather than acquiescence.
Ask Don't Assume Everything is OK Don't assume everything is fine unless you hear otherwise. Ask your child how things are going, how he or she gets treated in school, who his or her friends are, etc. Pay attention to your child's mood and behavior.
Student Strategies:
The 3 R's
Recognize - bullying situations. Identify the criteria of bullying (P-I-C).
Refuse - the bullying using strategies such as DeBugging. This can also include withholding support or participation in a hurtful event, choose not to encourage a bully with laughter or words, get help from adults, support a victim in private, distract the bully from their victim, offer support to the victim in the presence of the bully, or confront the bully.
Report - the bullying to adults/school staff.
DEBUG:
Decide to ignore
Exit, or move away
Be friendly
Use firm words
Get adult help
STAR: Use the STAR strategy when confronted with a bully.
S - Stick together
T - Tell the Bully to Stop
A - Alert an Adult at school & home
R - Respect others and be friendly
Tattling vs. Reporting
• Tattling is when a student is trying to get someone in trouble.
• Reporting is when a student tries to keep someone safe.
Anger Management
Anger is an emotion. It is a signal that we think we are being treated unfairly.
Feelings are neither right nor wrong. It is okay to feel angry.
Actions can be right or wrong. It is not okay to hurt ourselves, others, or property when we feel angry.
So how can we deal with anger and act in healthy ways?
1) Recognize anger - know when you are angry and what makes you angry.
2) Practice positive responses - practice, practice, practice until your new positive responses become good habits.
Quick List of Ways to Cope with Anger
Walk away
Exercise
Talk to someone who you are not feeling angry with
Distract yourself
Think of a favorite memory
"Smell the cookies"
Count 10 breaths
Write/Draw about it
Come back and deal with it later when you feel calm
Feelings are neither right nor wrong. It is okay to feel angry.
Actions can be right or wrong. It is not okay to hurt ourselves, others, or property when we feel angry.
So how can we deal with anger and act in healthy ways?
1) Recognize anger - know when you are angry and what makes you angry.
2) Practice positive responses - practice, practice, practice until your new positive responses become good habits.
Quick List of Ways to Cope with Anger
Walk away
Exercise
Talk to someone who you are not feeling angry with
Distract yourself
Think of a favorite memory
"Smell the cookies"
Count 10 breaths
Write/Draw about it
Come back and deal with it later when you feel calm